Political correctness seems to be at the forefront of politics these days. I have never been one to just ignore this current trend; however I find that in certain cases political correctness tends to overstep its boundaries, As in the case of gay men and monogamy. This political correctness has actually blurred the public's perception of what gay relationships actually are. This misconception leads people bitch in and out of the gay community to believe, that according to our assimilationist political leaders our relationships are just like everyone else's. The aim of this article is to clarify these misconceptions, disprove some of these fallacies, and give factual analysis of the dynamics of real gay relationships.
To break down all the false pretenses that have been fore mentioned it is important to address the fact that gay relationships are hardly ever truly monogamous according to Mattison and McWirther in a survey taken in 1981, 83% of gay men cheated on their partner and in a more recent study performed in mid 2007 that percent had dropped only a mere 24% to 59%. As opposed to the rapid decrease of infidelity among heterosexual men down to 18% in recent years (Mcwirther and Mattison).
TABLE1.Demographics of the Sample DEMOGRAPHIC n % Ethnicity White African American Latino Asian American Native American U.S. region of origin Northeast Midwest South West Other 213 7 14 4 2 45 22 25 25 3 88.0 2.9 5.8 1.7 0.8 37.2 18.2 20.7 20.7 2.5 Note.Age, M= 43 years (SD= 11.26); years together, M= 9.49 (SD= 8.51); and income, M= $106,464 (SD= $68,022.02) (LaSala 5).
This is due in large part to low self-esteem, and limited adolescent psychosexual developement. During adolescent years a series of psychological developements take place.
According to Freudian theory personality developement is a competition between biological desire and cultural constraint. Gay men are not born into the gay community, so they are therefore not able to properly balance their biological desires with their cultural constraints.
Due to these rigid societal constraints many gay men are unable to develop as their heterosexual counter parts. Because of the societal constraints placed on them, many gay males are unable to continue their psychosexual developement until later on in life.This in turn stops or halts the developement of their love map.
A love map is essentially a detailed design of ones sexuality. The developement of this love map begins at infancy, falters off during early childhood (toddler) years, and resumes in the adolescent stages.
While the developement of gay youth remains constant throughout the early stages of life, this trend changes drastically in adolescent years. At a point when their heterosexual male counter parts are beginning to learn how to form productive relationships, gay males are hindered in their progress. Due in large in large part to society's unacceptable of homosexuality, gay males are pretty much forced to put their developement on hold.
When they finally escape their repressive environment and begin their journey into the LGBTQ community, most lose sight of why they came out in the first place. They become enthralled in the gay scene, which is based on liberal principles of sexual freedom. This actually equates to promiscuity, and unabridged sexploration. Due to previous societal constraints, many see this as making up for most time. The problem is it's very easy to get lost in this maze. Those that do eventually decide to leave the "scene" behind are still devoid of important relationship building skills. Many are attracted to the ideal of monogamy, but don't understand the concept. As a result, many gay men enter into dysfunctional relationships with one another.
Seeking strong emotional intimacy, but lacking the elements needed to form strong physical intimacy and relationship longevity. Unable to cope with the ever changing dynamics of their relationships, gay men "reinvent" ways to stabilize their tumultuous relationships. Open relationships, non-monogamy, are some of the ways gay men cope with their changing relationships albeit ineffectively.
This presents a problematic scenario, as now we have to convince everyone else our relationship are working. This is accomplished mainly by the platform of reinventing the concept of relationships, and marriage.
This is enacted by the militant politicking that is taking place in our movement, many gay rights activist would have you believe this jargon; However those within our community know differently. It seems as though those with such dissenting opinions have been snuffed out, and deemed unfit to take part in the gay agenda
LaSala, Michael C. "Extradyadic Sex and Gay Male Couples: Comparing Monogamous and Nonmonogamous Relationships." "Society: The Journal of Contemporary Social Services|www.familiesinsociety.org Copyright 2004 Alliance for Children and Families". 10 (2004): 5 Apr 2013